Why Did My Parents Abuse Me

gizmos16201

4 months ago

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Today we will be addressing a much too common issue, which is child abuse. Before we get started here are some bargains and deals, feel free to browse them or go to my next paragraph.

No matter if you are interested in my bargains and deals or wish to pass them by, what matters is you are here to address child abuse in families. My next paragraph will begin by providing you with what you came here for, thank you for visiting my website.

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Abusive Parenting Signs

The first thing we are going to address is the signs a child might be abused, you never know there might be a family right next door which is guilty of this terrible crime. Knowing what to look for can save a child’s life, so that is what we are going to learn in my very first paragraph.

Lacking their basic needs
Sexually being used by a family member
Making one child do without to provide more for another one
Mentally teasing or picking on a little boy or girl
The child lacks any type of private time
Physically threatening them even if no physical abuse ever occurs
All the children in the home are not treated equally
Starving for affection and love
Using God in a negative way to control your child
Children are regularly left at home to fend for themselves
Sometimes parents will use their child to get even with the other parent during conflicts
Stresses they are not good enough
Constantly telling them they are worthless
Accusing your child of your problems
Making them earn money only to take it from them

If you or a loved one is affected by domestic violence or emotional abuse and need help, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Even if you are not positive abuse is taking place, for the child’s sake report your suspicions to the authorities.

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Child Abuse Facts

Let us get some facts and statistics just so you understand how serious this really is, you might be surprised once you read what I have found for you below. Child abuse is more common than many of us realize, so now read the facts to learn more.

According to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children, child abuse reports in 2020 involved 7.1 million children.
90.6% of these victims were maltreated by one or both parents.
It is estimated that 1,750 children died from abuse and neglect.

Why Parents Abuse Their Children

Mental health illness
Stress
Anxiety
Depression
Substance Abuse
Personality Disorders
Lacks Positive Parenting Skills
Possibly Experienced Child Abuse Themselves

Why did my parents abuse me is something I have asked myself many times, it was my father who was the abusive one in my own family. My mother took many beatings protecting my brothers and me, did you ever ask yourself are men more abusive than women?

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Why My Father Was Abusive

When I was just a little boy, you would find me most nights crying myself to sleep. I was terrified my father was going to come into my bedroom and physically beat me, this happened quite often growing up in my childhood years.

Took out his anger and frustrations on his family
Stressful times were triggers.
High anxiety was normal for my father most of the time
Gave him a sense of control
Poor relationship between my father and my mother
How he was raised as a boy himself
Believed physical discipline was his job and duty as my father
Poor coping skills

Now, this is just my own father, everyone is different in why they might be abusive. My dad never showed any affection or love towards his family, and we never were good enough for him, no matter how hard we tried.

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Border Personality & Abuse

This disorder is known to cause many people with it to become abusive, some are completely unaware that they are even abusing their family. We are going to learn a little more about this for you to understand it better, I have listed some facts that might interest you.

Some are totally oblivious to their behavior.
Some see their behavior as a means to an end and take little to no responsibility for it or any of its consequences.
Others understand that they have acted poorly again, pissed someone off, and once again made real the threat of and/or fear abandonment and loss, but they do not understand why they’ve done it.
Similarly, they have no clue how to stop it.
Others project it out onto the non-borderline and think that everything that has come from them was actually done to them by the non-borderline.

The Mental Health Center provided the information that you just read, this is a reliable source that you can trust. Below there is a link to the blog post, so if you want to learn more about this disorder and abuse just click on the link.

The Mental Health Center

Child Abuse Help Resources

Resources are a very important part of my website, so we are going to get access to the ones that I have found for you. There is a very good chance you are reading this for a reason, and knowing about these websites will be valuable for you to get help.

With these resources, you can get help for any child being abused. Many family members are so terrified of the abuser that they hesitate to ask for help, but if you don’t take the first step that child might not survive. We must stand up to protect our children, even if it means taking the risk of angering the abuser.

How Child Abuse Affects Children

It took me much of my life to overcome the abuse that I grew up with, how it affected me was extremely high anxiety. In school, I rarely spoke a word, and when my teachers confronted my parents they used the excuse I was just extremely shy. Really my mother has no idea this was from my father’s abuse, until many years later as an adult I finally explained it to her.

Fear to say the wrong thing, so avoid speaking as much as possible
Impaired academic achievement in school
Chronic health problems
Anxiety
Depression
Substance abuse
Obesity
Smoking
Emotional development
Mental health disorders
Eating disorders
Public speaking phobia
Digestive disorders
Bladder and bowel issues
Migraine headaches
Toxic relationships

Everyone will not experience all of these from child abuse, I struggled most of my life with anxiety issues which prevented me from being happy and as productive as I might have been. Digestive issues and eating disorders also are a part of my life even today, really this kind of experience can ruin a child’s entire life.

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Child Abuse Treatment

Remember neglectful parents are also abusive, whenever a child is not provided what they need that is still abuse on the parent’s part. I went through many years of therapy and medications to overcome my own childhood experience, now medication is no longer required, so using them while you are healing is not a bad thing.

Developmental therapy. This type of therapy deals with the way a child grows and the way that growth has been changed or blocked by abuse.
Intrapersonal therapy. This type of therapy deals with the way the child’s relationships have been influenced by the abuse.
Cognitive and behavioral therapy. This type of therapy deals with the way the abused child’s feelings and thoughts have changed their behavior.
Helping parents and children create stronger bonds
Informing parents about good parenting techniques
Teaching parents to be emotionally tough
Creating stronger social and community connections
Supporting parents who are struggling

Today, there is much more assistance than when I was a boy. In my day, you never told anyone about what was going on at home. We are much more open to talking now than at that time, so never be afraid to reach out for help.

Dealing With Abusive Parents

Protecting Your Child From Your Abusive Partner

Many times both parents are not abusive, but the other parent might be afraid to do anything about it. in this paragraph, we are going to get some advice on how to handle this situation, and often the parents are divorced and living separately with visiting privileges.

Refer the matter to the appropriate child protection agency
Order the abusive parent to attend counseling or parenting classes before resuming any visitation with the children
Require any contact between the parent and the children to be supervised
Appointing an attorney to speak to the children and advocate for them in any custody or visitation proceeding
Appointing a Guardian Aid to investigate the entire situation and make recommendations to the Court regarding what outcome is in the best interests of the children.

The information above is what you can do legally, many times that is what you must do to solve this problem. You must do whatever it takes to protect your child from the abusive parent, now taking the legal steps will provide you with the best protection for your child and for yourself.

Child Abuse Guide

To complete this article, we are going to end it with the different types. Maybe you are already aware of them, but for anyone that is not this is very valuable information I feel you need to know.

Physical
Sexual
Emotional
Psychological
Spiritual
Verbal
Neglect

Any of these alone can cause permanent damage for the rest of their lives, I was lucky enough to find a good counselor after years of working with bad ones. If you start counseling and it is not working for you, never give up just search for another one until you find the right person that can help you overcome the damage that you have experienced.